Terence Kuch's Dark and Unexpected Fiction
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The Nixon Limerick

My limerick that won first prize in the New York magazine competition of January 26, 1976 acquired two press notices that were still on line in August 2012:

– New York Times Business Day section, in “Media Talk” column by Bernard Stamler, July 24, 2000 called it “hilarious.”

– Milwaukee Journal, article “Funny Business” by Gerald  Kloss, April 3, 1981, said “One of Madden’s most demanding competitions asked readers to sum up a famous book or play in a limerick. They came up with some dandies.” (Quoting three limericks, mine being printed first.)

The limerick follows. It was slightly misprinted in New York, “Six Crises” being printed “Six crises,” obscuring the reference to Richard Nixon’s pre-Presidency book of that title:

I’m coolest when faced with a threat,
Too calm and decisive to fret.
Six Crises to date
(I’m trying for eight)
And I’m not even President yet!

The other two crises were, of course, the forced resignations of VP Spiro Agnew and then Nixon himself.

As a sidebar, in 1963 a Berkeley bookshop remaindered Six Crises for $0.60, under a very large banner reading “NIXON: TEN CENTS A CRISIS.”

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